i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
