I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
