Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
