another moral hangover. fuck.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i dont even know how to be here
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
