Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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