she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
