Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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