Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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