i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
