careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
