i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
