Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
