I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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