I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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