No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
