He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
