there's paper in my vomit.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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