y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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