Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
