Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
