omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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