never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
