Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
