i don't like sucking hair
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
