Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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