are you so shy because you have an std?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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