your thong is hanging out like whoa
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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