He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
