Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
