Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
