This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
