You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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