shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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