just come out here and I will go home with you...
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
