He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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