Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my shit smells like andre
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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