whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Randomize
