Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
