Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
did i walk over a car last night?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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