I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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