she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
