god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
