woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
its liver damage thursday
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
