dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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