Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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