when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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