If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
