he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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