So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
