They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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