i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
