i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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