Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
